Magnetic underwear for men is big on Singapore’s e-commerce platforms. A search on Lazada for “magnetic underwear” yields 605 results while a search on Shopee yields page after page of suggestive ads, boasting big improvements should you try these underpants.
Shirtless men with well-defined pecs stare you down as you scroll through the results, linking the very idea of manliness to magnetic underwear in the minds of shoppers.
It’s exactly what it says, more or less. They usually have A Look and once you see it, you can spot it from a mile away. They are essentially figure-hugging boxers with tiny magnets embedded in the seat of the pants. The magnets show up as slightly elevated polka dots, which superficially resemble the studs on a biker’s jacket. They are also usually dark in colour.
In case you don’t get that this is an item only for men, they have ads like these:
Let’s spot the phallic symbols together.
I’ll give you a minute to study this picture, OK?
Let’s review this together.
All roads seem to lead to Vincepants, which is based in Malaysia.
They claim that the technology in their special underwear comes from the United Kingdom – which is why the Union Jack appears in their advertisements.
There are a lot of them.
The main claim is that you’ll be able to change things around without any surgery or health supplements. After all, putting on underwear is something you already need to do, so why not magnetic underwear?
To sum it up, they sell virility in a convenient package. Grow bigger and last longer in bed, just by putting on underpants.
I don’t know if it’s intentional but the graphics for these charts remind me a lot of chicken sausages.
Are you worried a strong wind might be able to topple you? Wear these.
These charts don’t answer the question of what happens once you take the underpants off.
Perhaps somewhat surprisingly, these products have great ratings.
On Shopee, this product has 4.9 out of 5 stars with 157 ratings.
On qoo10, 92% of customers approve of these magnetic underpants with 40 actually leaving a review, some with pictures.
The best reviews, however, can only be found on Shopee.
This is the most puzzling part.
There is huge variation in terms of price. Vincepants, of course, claims that only they can do that thing they do to your nether parts. Let’s look at their prices and use that as a benchmark.
4 for $138 USD equates to 4 for $183 SGD. That’s $45.75 per underpants.
The best-seller on Shopee, which also happens to have the most entertaining reviews, is $2.99 a pair. Of course, it is on discount at 63% off. Maybe they’re trying to help us with our birth rate, or something.
The first result on qoo10 also happens to be on discount. It’s currently $19.90 for 4 pairs, which means it’s valued at almost $5 per pair.
On Lazada, they seem to be going anywhere from $9 per pair to $14.70 per pair.
It’s probably better for you in the long run to address whatever lifestyle issues you have, than invest in these underpants.
After all, you will bring your attitude with you everywhere but your underpants have to come off at some point.
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