No one likes that antsy feeling before a first date, feeling unsure about yourself or how well the date will turn out. Most of time, a date is decent until you start spiralling into the depths of your anxiety and insecurities. Bringing the whole ordeal into a stalemate, neither of you are enjoying this anymore. To avoid getting to that dead end, here are some ways to help you put your best foot forward, and keep the ball rolling in the right direction.
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The first impression is a deep one, that helps give your date a general oversight of what kind of person you are. Though a nice and comfy top wonât be your wingmen to break the ice, itâll be less awkward than constantly fidgeting with your attire for the date. Dividing your attention and adding more stresses to the date is the last thing that you need. In general if youâre well-dressed but not overly littered with Gucci and LV stamps, your date will see you as friendly and approachable.
Keep things simple and neat, some accessories to show off your personality, and donât overdo it with the perfume or cologne. Donât be that walking tear gas.
Not knowing what to talk about is a fairly common thing, but it canât just be your date asking all the questions. Part and parcel of a date is getting to know each other, so throw in some questions about them. Prompt a conversation when itâs right, help continue on the talk with your own curious queries. Or if youâre hopping places during the date, give suggestions as to where or what to do. No matter how small, youâre contributing to the conversation, and thatâll be much better than talking to a stone wall.
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Be genuine in conversations and interactions, and considerate too. Rule of thumb, get out of your head and be present in the date with them. Donât get caught up flexing on them, appearing too self-absorbed while gushing about all your achievements. It can be impressive, in the right time and place. But what your date is looking for is a compassionate, likeable human being. Not a book of world records! Not only it can turn the atmosphere into an awkward and uncomfortable situation, but it leaves such a lousy impression of yourself. If youâre on the receiving end of such acts, try redirecting the conversation away from them. However, if that doesnât pan out, be honest and let them know.
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Body language tells more than verbal communication does, we pick it up almost immediately and subconsciously. While the other pointers highlight on your conduct during the date, knowing what are your bad habits before a date can be helpful in getting through that awkward first meet up.
Some of us fidget, or play with out hair, maybe holding onto our elbows too tight. Worst of all, constantly checking your phones. It may not be a genuine need to use the phone, just a habit when youâre nervous. But youâre giving off signals of not being interested in them in a passive-aggressive manner. Let your date know if you have urgent texts or calls to attend to, but you shouldnât be distracted (or appear to be) by your phone the whole time. Know these tics of yours beforehand and learn to counter them during these moments.
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At the end of the day, all we want from going on a date is to have a good time. Youâll never know if theyâre the one, tame your expectations. There will be many more opportunities to meet others who will be compatible with you. We all want to present the best version of ourselves, or someone else entirely that we think should be the best. Ending up really uptight, anxious and a wreck. This wonât be fun for both of you, so take a deep breath and exhale your worries out, and enjoy the time spent together.